It’s been so many years that I’ve lived with george, now, and I’ve just become used to not being able to do stuff that “normal” people can without thinking about it. Even the rage against this has calmed to an acceptance and just getting on with stuff I actually can do.
But then we had to move, and there is something about this new home that energises me – we are in the countryside again (which is where I’m happiest anyway) with an awesome garden (really) and there is sky and wildlife and wind and all kinds of things to cheer a person and make them feel glad…
Then onto my Facebook feed, a few weeks ago, a video appeared for a gym in town, not with lithe youngsters in leotards and tights, but with a woman and her tum, no make-up, in her old tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, just doing it. Getting fitter. Reader, I called them to see what they might be able to do with me, thinking this was a long shot, really.
My first visit with Dave was cautiously non-committal. He is a sensible chap who did not want to promise anything without a bit of research into spinal stenosis and even then it would really be a “see how it goes” kind of thing. But he agreed to see what we could do; I signed up, paid up-front for 10 hours of 1-1 training with him, in half-hour sessions as that’s quite enough for me just now, thank you…
I feel great. My body is starting to wake up, some of my muscles are keen to do more and I feel stronger already. We’re working from the outer reaches before we go near george, because indeed that would just have me “running” away (a bit like a visit earlier this year to a physio – one massage was enough for me to never return!). Instead what is happening is not only an improved body but also a feeling of caring for myself more, that perhaps I could hang on to the size 16 clothes gently aging into retro (I wish), that I can do more. Already I want to give up the sofa-working and get back to a desk, for short sessions at a time, interspersed with some wandering in this garden that I already love and doing some house stuff (because working at home people cannot escape that, no matter how much we want 8 hours of straight working time).
Anyway – my point is that I feel wonderful and know I am going to feel more wonderful as I keep at it. Perhaps I can do a 5k charity run again, or just “pop” up to London without having to plan every detail to the point of giving up, that actually I do not need to be as disabled as it felt I was. Of course it is the PiP that is paying for this and indeed surely the point of that “independence payment” is to improve life and be able to do more, to support my being able to work better, live better even. Working to improve and make stronger the parts of my body not affected by george is definitely that, but I’d not have been able to do it without an awesome trainer, one who really understands how to get this person going again.